Do We Really Expect Things To Go Back To Normal

I can’t wait for things to get back to normal!

How many times have you heard that exclamation? I am sure that we have all said it, thought it, hoped for it, and expected it to happen. It seems to be a natural reaction to events that we can’t understand or that we have no control over. With no better way to explain what is going on, we are simply filled with the desire to wish for things to just get back to normal. But what does that mean? And do things ever really “go back”?

A few weeks ago, my cousin lost her 6 year battle with cancer.  She was only 43 years old. For some time now I have worn two yellow LIVESTRONG bands on my wrist, one of which is for her.  I do this to remind myself how fragile and unpredictable life can be. Daily I will look at the bands and I will think about her and her family. For the past few weeks I have not been able to stop myself from thinking one thing for her kids, husband, and parents – I hope that their lives can get back to normal. But what would that be for them now? They watched their mother, wife, and daughter fight hard against her disease and ultimately succumb to the slow but powerful grip it had on her. She can not be replaced, and her kids will live the majority of their lives without their mother. The only way for things to be normal again would be to reverse time 6 years and some how stop that tumor. Truth be told, normal would be for her cancer to never have happened at all. But wishing this is in vain and simply delays the arrival of what will inevitably come. In time they will find a way to a new normal, one that can not be seen or predicted right now. Getting there will be frightening, mostly because no one ever wants to forget. But one thing is certain, there is no going “back” to normal.

Recently I’ve come to believe that I am simply moving from one state of normalcy to the next, jolted out of my comfort zone by something unforeseen, unstoppable, and uncontrollable. Loss of a job or income. Discovering a new talent. Birth of a child. Death of a loved one. All of these have reshaped me and redefined my state of normalcy. The recent death of my cousin is no different. The past few weeks have been filled with a range of events that have taken me to amazing highs and painful lows. In the middle of all of it I can now see that my normal was being broken down once again. Discernment is hard, and there is always room for doubt, but I’ve never been more sure of the fact that I’m being jolted again and that I need to prepare myself to let go of the fear and move along. Resisting simply delays the arrival of my new normal.

I know very little about where I am going or how long it is going take to get there, but I am pretty excited. And yeah, there is a part of me that can’t wait for things to leap ahead to normal – my new normal, at least for a while.